Uncle Jacey, Aunt Nanaa, and Roadie visit

The end of July, my brother and sister-in-law, and puppy nephew drove out to spend time loving on our babies. I know 5 hours isn't an awful long drive but, it just meant so much to Ben and I that they packed up and drove all that way to see their niece and newest nephew.

To say that they wild woman was excited would be such an understatement!!!! She was beside herself!! It really was a great weekend! We just hung out, played, and caught up. I have been blessed with such a great family, spending time with them is a blessing to me.

Their dog, Rotor (aka-Roadie), came along too! He's such a good boy and puts up with an awful lot! haha He got lots of Auddy lovin' while he was here, I can only imagine how happy he was to get back to his house :)

 It was such a hot weekend... even though the electric bill is a cause for panic- I'm so thankful for central air!

 That water table, a gift from Jason and Jena for Aud's 2nd birthday, has been played with so much! Such a great gift for any kiddo!

Rotor... aka Roadie.

 The weekend went by way too quickly. The last day the were here, we drove about 1.5 hours to meet our sister at Longwood Gardens, where she's worked this past season. We'd never been there and were excited to get the tour! It was awesome! If we lived closer, we'd get a season pass- the wild woman had the time of her life! She ran EVERYwhere!

She only picked one flower and played in 2 ponds- we were proud! 

They also had the best children's garden where she could play in the fountains that were just her size, run up and down ramps and little kiddo sized walk ways, it was great. The outside gardens were fantastic! I just marveled at all the beautiful displays and plants!

 Yes, she's drinking the dirty fountain water...

One of the garden's volunteers said he looked like Nemo in this outfit! :)

 She's such a Daddy's girl!!

Amazing huh??

 I love the red cone flowers!!

 Wild woman with her Nellie-Bellie

Melts my heart!

Poor wild woman, while she was running through the gardens, marveling at something instead of watching where she was running- she ran straight through a rose bush... She was okay after some cleaning up poor girl! She was sleeping before we pulled out of the parking spot. Great family day!!

Big Cardiologist Appointment

     Yesterday Judahcub and I spent the day at CHOP for his big cardiologist appointment. Ben was off and stayed home with the wild woman since the appointment was going to be most of the day in and out of tests. He had to get an ECHO and EKG done before meeting with the cardiologist. He did so fantastic. Barely and fuss out of him!

Two days ago he started cooing and everyday he builds on it, I absolutely love it. He loves when you get close to his face and talk to him. Well... thats not entirely true.. He does not like when Audrey get 3mm away from his face and talks at normal wild woman volume :) I had him repeating after me for about 10 minutes yesterday, it was so much fun. His smile is so big, he just can't smile with his lips- he wiggles his head and body around whenever he smiles haha it's sooo funny! He really was practicing yesterday, he kept cooing at the doctors and nurses while they were doing vitals, assessments, and tests.

The ECHO went well, so well Judahcub fell asleep 15 minutes into it :). The EKG was a breeze, even with him kicking and playing as hard as he was. When the fellow came into to talk about the ECHO, I was a little surprised at the results. His PFO was a little leaky along with his mitral and pulmonary valves. They weren't concerned with this,  they said it was to be expected and everything with the repair looked beautiful. The narrowing on his pulmonary artery (which used to be his aorta) looked okay. It's not causing any back pressure or causing the right ventricle to be enlarged. There is actually two area's of narrowing but it's something that will be followed very closely. 

After we spoke with the fellow, the attending came in. She's the one who has been following Judah since we started coming to CHOP in April. I talked with her and she was very pleased with Judah's progress. We go back again in 4 months for another ECHO and EKG. I really really like the team of doctors they we see and how great they are at what they do. They both stressed keeping him away from large groups of people and crowds for a little while longer, at least until after his 2 month immunizations and strick hand washing for anyone who comes in contact with him.

We have been so blessed and thank God for everything He done, doing, and will do in Judah's life!! Can't believe our little man is 13.2 lbs- up almost 3.5lbs from birth, and 23inchs long- up 2.4inches from birth!!! Grow Judahcub grow!!! The cooing and smiling just melts me!!

Way past due for pictures!

I'm way past due in putting pictures up, I know. Other than a demo, we really haven't gotten into too many adventures. We're really working hard on keeping Judah out of the heat and away from crowds. Here's some from the past month or so...

Audrey loves my nest :)

This is how she played for about 20 minutes... in between the baseboard and mattress. Only Audrey.

This is what I found when I came downstairs after putting her down for a nap. She always lags behind when I say it's time to go pick some books out for naptime, this time she was busy putting her babies (and snake) to bed- in the kitchen, under the rug. Ben and I laughed so hard.

Layin' with her Judahcub.

Kissing his sweet little toes.

I told Aud to show me her teeth... this is what I got. hahaha

No words needed.

My sleepy boys

He loves to stick out his tongue. We asked " Judah, where's you little tongue at?" Audrey yells " IT'S IN HIS LITTLE MOUTH" haha She's probably thinking "Dummies"

And his sweet lil' smile.

From my reading today...

From my reading today in 1 Thessalonians 5:


"18 xgive thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. "


It doesn't say, consider giving thanks in all circumstances. It's a command, GIVE. I am not called to give thanks just when things are going well, I'm called to give thanks in ALL circumstances, even the roughest circumstances.

Sometimes when it pours rain, the sun still shines.

When you personally see how the hand of God pulled you through the most difficult time in your life, it just doesn't see right to be upset when it starts pouring rain. It can start as a sprinkle, or just start down-pouring. Sometimes it stops after just a few days and then sometimes, there's no end in sight and you end up treading the flood waters. Or you see how friends/family are treading the flood waters from the nonstop rain in their lives, and then- your rain looks more like a mist.

That's where I've found myself the past two weeks. God has gone before my family, has protected my baby through everything, and has done so while pouring out his blessings. I'm thankful, yes that's right- thankful, for everything we've been through. If we wouldn't have gone through it, we would have missed seeing Him. If we missed seeing Him, He would not be given the glory, honor, and praise he deserves. Did we enjoy it? Not for one second, but no where does it promise in His Holy Word that growing in Him would be easy.

It went from the very large hotel bill we got stuck with because there was no openings at the Ronald McDonald house or anywhere else in our price range when Judah got readmitted and we had no choice but to all stay in Philly. Then a mass on my breast, the lawn mower, brand new lawn mower- breaking beyond fixing, to the weed eater dying, then to the outrageous electric bill, decisions about moving, finding Beretta a new home, still having a car to sell in Germany, to horrible attitudes and unkind thoughts. Then God gave answers to prayers and poured out blessings through family members, by financial burdens lifted, by new outlooks, and by showing us His mighty hand...again and again. I know that things are still going to happen and things are going to come up but I rest in the arms of Jesus. He has this covered. I don't have to have all the answers, or control how everything will pan out. Of course there are going to be nasty days, days that I lack faith and start to sink below the waters surface. But just like Peter- I just have to call on Him. I am thankful He is showing me how much I need to rely on Him, to put my trust in Him. In everything and all things, I give God the glory.

The day before Judah was discharged for the second time, I got really sick. I had a 101 fever with 800mg of Motrin and almost a weeks worth of antibiotics for mastitis. I also had found a lump on my left breast along with more red streaking and pain like I had never had before. I had stayed with Judah the past 2 nights and Ben had taken Audrey on a Daddy/Auddy date, so I was alone. My midwife who saw me through the Fetal Heart Center at CHOP was gracious enough to see me again. She didn't have to, she could have told me to just go to me primary care doctor or the ER, but she told me to come right over. I was in so much pain that even removing my bra about put me over the edge. She had the doctor come in right away and he ordered an ultrasound to make sure I didn't have a abscess.

My midwife called over to the University of Penn, and spoke with a radiologist at their breast imaging center and she told me to come right over. At first the resident was going to do it but when she saw how much pain I was in and the size of the lump, she got the doctor to do it so I could have it done as quick as possible. The doctor started crying when she saw the steady stream of tears down my face. At first she asked if it was okay that she talk to resident through what she was doing and seeing- I said of course. It was when she stopped talking to the resident and taking more picture that I knew something was up.

Praise God it wasn't an abscess, but it was a solid mass about 4.5cms.  She said she wanted a biopsy done soon and then it wasn't until I said my Mom had breast cancer at 27, that she said within the week.   I was so happy it wasn't an abscess but suddenly hit with oh my gosh... I have a large mass on my breast... I'm still running a fever...my baby is still in the hospital...how am I going to do this? Then fear started to creep in, bringing along a blanket to cover me with. I knew God had this, that whatever it turned out to be, He had this- but I was still fearful.

I wasn't fearful about going through the worst, I was fearful for my babies and my Man. How will they get through this, I can't put more weight on Ben's mighty shoulders, I can't be away from my babies - all the thoughts that would run through a devoted wife and Mommas' head. Then I was reminded that no matter how much I love them, there's someone who loves them more than I do. I kept thinking about that over and over again. That even if the worst possible thing happend, God has them and will keep them. But every once and awhile, I'd reply (yes, I was having a conversation with myself, in my own mind) BUT I WANT TO LOVE AND TAKE CARE OF THEM TOO!!!!!!

We met with the surgical oncologist and I was so thankful she said she felt it was best to do a needle biopsy instead of surgical so I could still nurse Judah and not have to go through surgery. I was so thankful. So thankful. She scheduled me for a needle biopsy the following week.

Last Wednesday morning I had the biopsy. I felt some of the weight come off my shoulders after the biopsy. There has been so many people praying us through this, and I could feel it. My Mom came and helped again, so Ben could go with me and is staying until tomorrow. Ben went back to work so she helped me with the kiddos when I couldn't lift and reminded me that there's a plan and God has this worked out. I wasn't terribly sore until Saturday. I was a good patient and listened to the instructions about not lifting the first 24hrs. I should have had more sense and waited another day or two to lift anything... but I didn't. Where the mass is, they had to go into it an odd way. The colors and bruising on my body are incredible. If it wasn't in the location that it is, I'd be taking pictures and sharing them. Anyways, I paid for it on Friday night through today. Wow.

They said the results could be back Friday but most likely Monday. Friday came and went. I was hit with a peace that surpassed all understanding that just calmed my heart and mind. The doctor called this morning and said that the mass was a lactating adenoma, which is benign. PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE BE TO GOD!!!!!!!!! I won't have to have it removed until after I'm finished nursing, and don't have have it remove then either but, it's a nice size mass and I want it out. God is good, even in the darkest, rainiest times. Especially in the darkest and rainiest times.

One Month!

Our baby boy is a month old today. I'm not going to ask where as the past month gone- I know where it  has gone and I do not wish for it to be back.

I can still feel the weight of the emotions from 4wks ago and the weeks following. Looking back, I realize just how traumatic it was... on me. As selfish as that might sound, it's the truth. I can't speak for my man but I know it was pretty tough on him. He was/is my rock through all of this. He was the one who stayed the majority of the nights with Judah because I physically and emotionally could not, and he wouldn't have it :). He kept everything all together, and picked up the pieces when I fell apart, reminding me that God had this.

I'll never forget the thoughts going through my mind as the contractions kept coming closer and closer together. I wanted them to stop, I didn't want Judah to come out yet, I wasn't ready to hand him over to a team of doctors, to face the days ahead. When I was pushing, knowing it was that much closer to the hard reality of what was to come, I wanted to just stop. I was so overcome when I got to hold him for those few seconds. He was so perfect, some handsome, so BIG!! :) I couldn't stop crying, and didn't until about... July 1st.

I can still hear my voice, telling myself- breathe Jaimie, breathe Jaimie, breathe, Over and over again as I walked away from his bedside every time I had to leave. I'll never forget watching them take my little baby away on the big stretcher to surgery. I'll never forget Ben holding me and praying over Judah and me as they were getting him ready.

In everything, absolutely everything, God has gone before us and taken care of everything. From the move from Germany, our orders, doctors, nurses, traveling, hotels, financial situation, every small detail, God has been there and made his presence known. Judah is our praise, he could have no other name.

He is such a sweetheart, our little Judah cub. He's got the craziest hair, strongest arms and legs, and the sweetest  little growls and squeaks. He's also a fast learner. He went from all bottle feeding to breastfeeding in no time! He's starting to sleep a little longer through the night. Our longest was two nights ago, he slept 4 hours- then ate like he hadn't had anything to eat in days!! :) He's currently quite the Momma's boy, and I'm okay with that!

Some Judah Stats:

Eye color: the newborn gray/blue

Hair: pretty sure it's going to be a shade of red

Feeding: breastfeeding anywhere from every hour to 2 hours. Sometimes 3-4 through the night

Activity: He's got some great periods of awake time where he is so alert. One of those times is about 0430-0530.... I know.

Weight and Height: 11lbs, and we'll have to be a little late on the height...

Biggest Fan: Audrey.

At first I was so scared. I kept thinking, how in the world do Mom's do this two kiddo thing and the multiples that come after? Granted, I was still extremely emotional and still trying to process though everything that had just happend, not to mention running on about 4 hours of sleep. It's starting to look more like a possibility now. My Mom has come out three times and without her- I don't think it could have been possible. She dropped everything to come out and make sure she was there when I delivered. She took the last week off of school, used up her days to be here- just in case I went a few days early and so someone could be there with the wild woman. She left everything in her office at school, everything at home to come and help us. She kept Aud while we were in the hospital, encouraged me while Judah was in the hospital, and made things better- only like a Mom can. When Judah was readmitted and I got another infection the day before he came home, she dropped everything again and drove out. Then she came back again to help when I needed her again. God has blessed me with one amazing Mom.

We still can't believe we have been blessed with the priveledge of being Audrey and Judah's parents. All we can say is thank you Jesus for our babies and family.

Sweet Baby Judah

Our handsome little man.